Yes.
I wanted to die. I thought I'd let everybody down, my wife, my family, my god.
I wasn't 100% sure when I first started learning ttatt, I just didn't trust my own reasoning power enough. Even now, on occasion, my brain flips back into jdub mode and I wonder if I've been fooled by evil apostates! That's why I keep a file of all the stuff I'm learning, written in my own words and with wt quotes as well. It doesn't take much to realise how much they've obscured the truth from everyone.
We're here for you bro, take your time....